Every reader has that certain book that can bring them back from the darkness of their mind. There is always that one book you go back to in your mind, and you can't help but whisper a 'Thank You' to the author of said book in your mind. Let's talk about that book.
Two years ago, I was emotionally numb. I was being forced to go to college. A college that I did not even want to go to.
I hated the idea of any kind of school because my high school experience was so bad. I wore a little too much black eyeliner and band tees to really fit in with the people in my small town county school. Students would actually throw up crosses at me because they thought I did witchcraft. I will never understand where they got that, but it was what is was. Honestly, the whole place was a joke. The teachers were too busy gossiping with the students to actually teach us anything. The only classes I ever learned anything in were my English classes and Performing Arts. They both taught me very different things, but they helped me find who I am. I passed all of my classes with epic grades because I actually studied and read my text books (unlike most of my class mates.)
So, with very little help from my high school teachers and my self-esteem being pretty much non-existent, I was beyond dreading college. I begged my mom not to make me go. She thought I would regret not going and told me to give it one semester. I reluctantly agreed.
That semester brought me to an all time low, but because of that low, I found the one thing I needed to bring me back to life.
My mom was going through some bad times at work and with other things, and she wasn't exactly nice to me. She had gotten really sick with something and everything pissed her off for a few months. She would take the smallest disagreements and turn them into something utterly ridiculous. She once accused me of not caring about other peoples lives and that I was trying to kill people by driving with very little sleep. It was a stupid argument that sent me to my room crying for hours. A few days later, she accused me of wanting her dead because I brought our cat inside the house for a few minutes. Mom was convinced she was allergic to the cat and that was what was making her sick. She is not and has never been allergic to the cat. All of this happened over the course of a weekend, and it took everything in my power to get out of bed and go to my classes that Monday.
The day went by in a blur. I took my notes and answered all of the questions the teachers asked. When I finished up with my last class, I didn't want to go home. So, I went to the bookstore to get a frappe. I walked the Teen section of the store, and my eye caught a last name on a book. FUNKE.
Now anyone who knows me, knows that Cornelia Funke is my all time favorite author. I adore her books like Potterheads adore the Harry Potter series. It's that serious. I had read her Inkword Trilogy in high school and it got me through my last two years there. I remember standing there with my hand freezing from the frappe as I read the back of the book. I didn't have much money. I was a college kid, of course I didn't have much money, but I didn't care. I would just have to go without gasoline because I HAD to have this book.
I read the book, RECKLESS, in a few hours. I devoured every word. That book was a light in a dark tunnel that lead me to be okay again. It made me feel something for the first time in months. I took it with me every day to every class until that semester of college was over. I didn't go back for a second semester. When I started my first job, I brought Reckless with me and kept it stashed away in my purse for a while. I still take it with me when I travel places. It's the first thing I put in my car.
Two years later, I'm okay. Reckless stays on my nightstand every night, and I am actually re-reading it now. I love it as much as I did then. I am thankful that Cornelia Funke put that story into writing. I am also thankful that other people find their very own books that make them want to breathe in every breath they can because without those books, none of us would be here.
My hope for my books is that one day someone will stumble across them in a dark period in their lives and it will make them feel something.
If there is a book (or song, or movie, or anything at all) like that for you, I'd very much like to read (or hear/see) it. So, if you want, drop a title in the comment section.
Much Love.
<3
