Chopping Off the Gender Stereotypes

For the past year, I've been debating getting a pixie cut. I've had short hair most of my life, but never pixie short. Today I took the plunge and did it. I hadn't really had a haircut in three years, and my hair had gotten super long. Longer than it has been since I was five years old. Since growing my hair out, I got many compliments on my appearance that I had never gotten with short hair. People LOVED how I looked with long hair, but something just didn't feel right to me.

Over the past year, every time I mentioned 'pixie cut,' a look of horror spread across people's faces. I heard many comments like "NO! You're so pretty with long hair!" and "That's waaaay too short. It looks like a boy haircut." Or my favorite, "Aren't you afraid you'll look like a boy?" (My hair length does not determine my gender, and anyone who believes so is crazy.)

Ultimately I talked myself out of getting the cut because I had worked three years to get it long, and, if I'm being honest, I was afraid that people wouldn't think I was beautiful anymore. So, the fear of others' opinions kept me from doing something that I really and truly wanted to do. So, today when I was in the shower, I decided that I was finished letting the fear of what others think dictate what I do with my life and my hair and everything else. I realized that I am freaking gorgeous and not because of what my hair looks like or the amount of shimmery makeup I put on my face everyday. My beauty is not defined by my hair. I'm gorgeous because I believe I am.

My mom went and found the best person to chop my hair off (because my normal hairdresser isn't skilled in pixie cuts and was too nervous to do it), and I took a seat in the black leather chair, and watched three years of work be chopped off in a matter of seconds. The feeling I got was simply amazing. Liberating almost. I had the craziest smile on my face as I watched all that hair fall because I was finally starting to look and feel like myself and not what everyone else wanted me to look like.

So, here I am sitting on my bed in a shirt that is three sizes too big for me, faded pajama pants, zero makeup, and a haircut most have deemed "too short".... and I feel more beautiful than I have in two years.

<3

I'm Still Alive!

Hey guys! I know I haven't updated in a while, so I'm popping on here for a friendly 'hello' and 'this is what has been up with me lately' post.

First, I have been writing lately. I'm not currently writing the Mutilated series, but it's not been cancelled or anything. I know the overall storyline for Mutilated, but I'm still not sure who the next book should be told by. I don't know if I want to return to Becca's voice or Nadia's voice. Whoever tells the story will obviously change the plot of the book. I've even debated telling it from former Mutilated Arteries bassist Vertebrae (Tyler Greene.) When I figure out what I'm doing with the story, I'll dive into it. I can't promise a release date or anything else as of now. I can promise that it will be written, though.

As of right now, I'm working on a book set in the same world that Behind the Wooden Door is set in. If you've read BTWD, you'll see a lot of crossover in this book (Spark.) If you haven't read BTWD, you won't be lost or confused if you decide to read Spark.

Second, I suck with deadlines. I do not set them because life has a way of making things happen that makes me miss them. I'm a story-teller not an author. Being an author was and is not what I want. I did not sign up to do promotion and make deadlines (though I do love promoting my sister's books!) I do however hope that people love the stories I tell because I love them.

Third, I have been dealing with a lot of health issues over the last year. I'm not using it as an excuse as to why I suck at getting books out sooner, but it does play a part in it. Please just be patient with me.

Last, Nikki has her next Saturn book, Cross Me Off Your List, out on April 27th. So, uhm, naturally you should go get it. It's amazing. (See, I like promoting Nik's books!)

Much Love to everyone who reads my blog and my books.

<3

The Disney Book Tag

I was tagged by Amber over at Paradise of Pages to do the Disney Book Tag. You can see her post here, and you can check out the original post on Youtube here. As a big Disney fan, I was so excited to fill this out!

Part of Your World- What book world would you change yourself for so you could be a part of that world? 
Reckless by Cornelia Funke. My absolute favorite character is a Goyl, and I would definitely change myself into a Goylwoman to get to see all the underground cities.

Let It Go- What book did you not want to finish because you loved it so much? 
It would either have to be Inkdeath by Cornelia Funke or Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by JK Rowling. Both books are ends to an amazing series (Inkdeath was the end of a trilogy) and both got me through some tough stuff.

Beauty and the Beast- What book do you think is/will be timeless? 
The Harry Potter series as a whole. I don’t think that series will ever die.

So This is Love- What book were you hesitant to read at first but ended up loving?
Don’t Let Me Go by JH Trumble. I’m not a big contemporary reader, but Nikki loved it so much that I agreed to read it. It was definitely worth the read.

Friend Like Me- Which character would you like to be your best friend?
Kale Nakoa from the Drenaline Surf series by Nikki Godwin. He just seems like he would be so much fun.

Reflection- What book really made you think/changed the way you viewed things?
If You Come Softly by Jacqueline Woodson. I read it when I was very young and most of the adults in my small, backwoods town was trying to force their beliefs on me. This book, along with my sister, helped me form my own thoughts and opinions on certain subjects.

Colors of the Wind- Who do you tag? 
I’m not going to tag anyone in particular. Any of my readers who want to do this are free to! I can’t wait to read what everyone says!

<3

Spaceships Around Saturn News!

Hey, Saturnites! Big news in the Saturnsphere for you guys. Nikki is working on the third installment of the Saturn series, Cross Me Off Your List, AKA "Noah's Book". Though Nikki does not have a release day set yet because she doesn't want to make any promises that life may make her break, she does have one in her mind that she wants to meet.

Nikki is also working on a Spaceships Around Saturn side project for Wattpad. She's not quite ready to reveal it yet, but I can promise you that it's going to be good! Over the next few months, you can check out the Spaceships Around Saturn blog or Nikki's blog for teasers, fun facts, and a lot of giveaways.

Speaking of giveaways, go to Nikki's blog post and enter to win some really cute SAS swag!

Much Love!

<3

Breaking Saint Jude

Guys! Okay, hi. So, my sister wrote this book titled Breaking Saint Jude It's filled with amazing words, amazing characters, and an amazing love interest. So, I guess what I need to know is: Why have you not pre-ordered this book? Haha but seriously this book is beyond epic. It is my favorite book of hers so far. So, let's talk about it. 

1. The cover is beautiful.

See? Beautiful!

2. In its pages reside a chain smoker, a computer hacker, a drug dealer, a taxidermist who may or may not look like he belongs in a Tim Burton movie, and two teenage guys who make the best LGBT couple in the world. 

3. A brotherhood of misfits (see above!) who aren't your typical game hunters who have an underground 'lair'.

4. Yes, it is a contemporary novel! 

5. It will make you want to collect colors of the rainbow in the form of broken glass.

So, you should go pre-order it (or make sure you get it when it comes out on January 14th!) and see how all of this comes together to make one of the most beautiful stories ever. 

Blurb

When sixteen-year-old Jude Calvert sets out to steal stained glass from a broken cathedral window, he finds more than shards of red. He finds Max Rangel - his eye candy from his new LGBT support group - hauling a giraffe carcass across an abandoned part of town with a pack of guys. And he still accepts Max's dinner invite a few days later.

Still, animal lover Jude can't get the giraffe out of his mind. It doesn't take long for him to confront Max, who gives him partial answers and introduces him to a secret brotherhood of not-so-typical game hunters. Unable to tell his mom (the savior of black cats everywhere) or his dad (the zoo's head veterinarian) and unwilling to go back to his overbearing therapist, Jude quickly finds himself sucked into the underground world of taxidermy, theft, and drug deals.

At first, he's willing to do anything for the brotherhood just because he's so thankful to belong to someone again after serious drama with his ex-clique and ex-boyfriend. But when his underground life collides with his life above, he realizes he may have bitten off more than even the biggest animal can chew.

<3 

Let's talk about Sex in YA books.

Today I turned on my Kindle and decided to look for a few new books to add to my 'To Be Read' list. I'm a sucker for a good love story, but I'd prefer my story to have a plot alongside it as well. I typed in 'YA Romance' into my search bar and it automatically suggested that I add 'with sex'. This really, really irked me. It irked me that so many people have searched for young adult novels that have sex in them that it would automatically assume that I wanted it in the stories I read as well.  I don't.

Now, let me make myself clear, I am not bashing on books that have explicit scenes it them, but I don't think that authors should add them into every single book they write. I am so, so, so sick of books that are just porn without plot. There are a lot of books with nothing but verbally abusive boyfriends wanting to have sex with the main character...in every chapter! Seriously, enough is enough!

Teen pregnancy is a serious issue in America now. I graduated with four teen moms. All of them were younger than I was. My friend got his fifteen year old girlfriend pregnant the year we were graduating. She now has two children by two different guys, and she's not even eighteen yet. Teenagers are beginning to think it's okay to go around and have sex as much as they want, and we are constantly promoting that to our audiences.

I'm twenty-one years old. I'm not some mother or grandmother who thinks the media is poisoning my child/grandchild's brain. I'm a little sister and a big sister. My little sister is sixteen years old, and I constantly worry about her getting pregnant or catching an STD. I don't know if she's having sex with the guys she's dating. I don't live with her or monitor her. What I do know is that movies, books, and songs promote sex like it's some shiny thing that everyone should be doing all the freaking time. My sister listens to music, she watches movies, and she will occasionally crack open a book. My little sister is being exposed to it every day of her life. Your brothers, sisters, daughters, sons, and friends are being exposed to it every day.

Do my characters have sex? Yes, I do have a FADE TO BLACK scene in my book Behind the Wooden Door, but if you want to pretend they didn't have sex, go right ahead. You can do that, and it will not hurt my feelings at all. In Mutilate My Heart, I have a scene where my main characters get a little too close, but they don't do anything. They pull back and are like 'OMG I'm an idiot.' That is very paraphrased, but you get the point. I don't have explicit scenes in my books because I want parents to feel comfortable handing my books to their children/grandchildren. I don't want any teenagers getting it in their head that it's totally cool to go sleep with a guy they just met because they read it in one of my books.

I have heard authors say things like 'the only way any of our books are going to sell is if we add a lot of sex to them.' Uhm... I'd rather not sell books than to have to make my books filled with raunchy, explicit scenes. I don’t 'talk dirty' to my boyfriends because that is the most awkward thing in the world to me... and slightly disgusting.

Authors, let's stop promoting that it's totally okay to sleep with a guy you barely know and that sex is the way to make a guy love you/stay with you. If a guy (or girl) only wants you for sex, you're better off without them.  Promote love that doesn’t have to rely on a physical relationship to keep it afloat.

<3

Let's talk about 'that book.'

Every reader has that certain book that can bring them back from the darkness of their mind. There is always that one book you go back to in your mind, and you can't help but whisper a 'Thank You' to the author of said book in your mind. Let's talk about that book.

Two years ago, I was emotionally numb. I was being forced to go to college. A college that I did not even want to go to.

 I hated the idea of any kind of school because my high school experience was so bad. I wore a little too much black eyeliner and band tees to really fit in with the people in my small town county school. Students would actually throw up crosses at me because they thought I did witchcraft. I will never understand where they got that, but it was what is was. Honestly, the whole place was a joke. The teachers were too busy gossiping with the students to actually teach us anything. The only classes I ever learned anything in were my English classes and Performing Arts. They both taught me very different things, but they helped me find who I am. I passed all of my classes with epic grades because I actually studied and read my text books (unlike most of my class mates.) 

So, with very little help from my high school teachers and my self-esteem being pretty much non-existent, I was beyond dreading college. I begged my mom not to make me go. She thought I would regret not going and told me to give it one semester. I reluctantly agreed.

That semester brought me to an all time low, but because of that low, I found the one thing I needed to bring me back to life.

My mom was going through some bad times at work and with other things, and she wasn't exactly nice to me. She had gotten really sick with something and everything pissed her off for a few months. She would take the smallest disagreements and turn them into something utterly ridiculous. She once accused me of not caring about other peoples lives and that I was trying to kill people by driving with very little sleep. It was a stupid argument that sent me to my room crying for hours. A few days later, she accused me of wanting her dead because I brought our cat inside the house for a few minutes. Mom was convinced she was allergic to the cat and that was what was making her sick. She is not and has never been allergic to the cat. All of this happened over the course of a weekend, and it took everything in my power to get out of bed and go to my classes that Monday. 

The day went by in a blur. I took my notes and answered all of the questions the teachers asked. When I finished up with my last class, I didn't want to go home. So, I went to the bookstore to get a frappe. I walked the Teen section of the store, and my eye caught a last name on a book. FUNKE. 

Now anyone who knows me, knows that Cornelia Funke is my all time favorite author. I adore her books like Potterheads adore the Harry Potter series. It's that serious. I had read her Inkword Trilogy in high school and it got me through my last two years there. I remember standing there with my hand freezing from the frappe as I read the back of the book. I didn't have much money. I was a college kid, of course I didn't have much money, but I didn't care. I would just have to go without gasoline because I HAD to have this book. 

I read the book, RECKLESS, in a few hours. I devoured every word. That book was a light in a dark tunnel that lead  me to be okay again. It made me feel something for the first time in months. I took it with me every day to every class until that semester of college was over. I didn't go back for a second semester. When I started my first job, I brought Reckless with me and kept it stashed away in my purse for a while. I still take it with me when I travel places. It's the first thing I put in my car.

Two years later, I'm okay. Reckless stays on my nightstand every night, and I am actually re-reading it now. I love it as much as I did then. I am thankful that Cornelia Funke put that story into writing. I am also thankful that other people find their very own books that make them want to breathe in every breath they can because without those books, none of us would be here. 

My hope for my books is that one day someone will stumble across them in a dark period in their lives and it will make them feel something. 

If there is a book (or song, or movie, or anything at all) like that for you, I'd very much like to read (or hear/see) it. So, if you want, drop a title in the comment section.

Much Love.

<3