Over the past year, every time I mentioned 'pixie cut,' a look of horror spread across people's faces. I heard many comments like "NO! You're so pretty with long hair!" and "That's waaaay too short. It looks like a boy haircut." Or my favorite, "Aren't you afraid you'll look like a boy?" (My hair length does not determine my gender, and anyone who believes so is crazy.)
Ultimately I talked myself out of getting the cut because I had worked three years to get it long, and, if I'm being honest, I was afraid that people wouldn't think I was beautiful anymore. So, the fear of others' opinions kept me from doing something that I really and truly wanted to do. So, today when I was in the shower, I decided that I was finished letting the fear of what others think dictate what I do with my life and my hair and everything else. I realized that I am freaking gorgeous and not because of what my hair looks like or the amount of shimmery makeup I put on my face everyday. My beauty is not defined by my hair. I'm gorgeous because I believe I am.
My mom went and found the best person to chop my hair off (because my normal hairdresser isn't skilled in pixie cuts and was too nervous to do it), and I took a seat in the black leather chair, and watched three years of work be chopped off in a matter of seconds. The feeling I got was simply amazing. Liberating almost. I had the craziest smile on my face as I watched all that hair fall because I was finally starting to look and feel like myself and not what everyone else wanted me to look like.
So, here I am sitting on my bed in a shirt that is three sizes too big for me, faded pajama pants, zero makeup, and a haircut most have deemed "too short".... and I feel more beautiful than I have in two years.